The labor of love that is pumping

I've dug out The Black Bag from storage in preparation for our new baby due in a few weeks.

You know, that bag.

The "handsome, discreet  black shoulder bag" that EVERYONE knows bears a turbo-boosted mega breast pump inside. The handsome shoulder bag is usually accompanied by a harried-looking woman, walking quickly, who's wearing bulls-eye targets on her boobs, thanks to wonderful contemporary nursing pad designs. (If anyone out there has recommendations for nursing pads that don't make you feel like you're wearing crinkly sandpaper, boob maxi-pads, or slimy lily pads, please share.) It's a dead give-away: The Pumping Professional.

Pumping, for me, was a labor of love.

Schlepping that pump everyday to and fro, to and fro, was a hassle, as was finding suitable times during the day that I could pump in my office. It was amazing how much less time I had in the work day period, due to needing to be home at a certain time for childcare, and how much more I had to accomplish in that time span.

It's hard to explain to patients in clinic that the reason they were being seen 30 minutes after their appointment time was because I absolutely HAD TO PUMP. And trying to remember all the equipment I needed each day while trying to accomodate to "Mommy Brain" was an exercise in futility. On multiple occasions I forgot a critical component for pumping either at work or home and would beat my head against the wall for being such a dolt. (A very uncomfortable dolt.)

But, it was never enough to call it quits on breastfeeding. It was worth it, this extra effort. I loved knowing that my daughter was growing on the nutrition that I solely provided her, even while away during the day. I loved our actual breastfeeding sessions which filled me with so much maternal love, and I'm sure contributed to our bond and attachment. (Scientific aside: Oxytocin, which is released during breastfeeding is a neurohormone known to promote bonding and attachment and trust, so there's evidence behind that.)

Breastfeeding was always something I wanted to do, and something that I feel grateful for being physically able to do. Not just for the immunological benefits or the "perfect nutrition" arguments, but also for that closeness and mothering bond. Pumping pain and saggy boobs be damned.

So, I'm bringing out the pump for number 2.

The things we do for love.

KC shows her maternal science nerdiness in this post: The Neurobiology of Mother Child Love at her blog, Where's My Cape?