Letter to the Deer Family

Dear Deer Family,

I love you but please stop visiting us. In the early spring your droppings alerted us to your covert nighttime visits to our yard. I didn’t mind that you were a phantom presence until I caught you eating my tulips late one spring night. As I came downstairs, your two beady eyes were the last things I expected to see staring back at me through our front window. Sure, I was upset that you munched off the tulip blooms that my family lovingly planted during an unseasonably hot fall day last year but understood that you were hungry. I was sorry that I cut down the remaining purple and white flowers to bring inside but I really didn’t want you to come back and claim them as your next meal.

Since I brought my tulips inside, it seems like you have been waging a war on my yard as part of your revenge. Is nothing off limits to you? Brand new tomato plants fresh from the nursery, wild orange day lilies, sunflowers that my children planted from seed with their tiny hands,

blueberries that were too green for the birds, and fruit and vegetable scraps from our compost pile have kept you well fed for months. You have destroyed almost everything that I have planted during my first year as a novice gardener. You have squashed my dreams of enjoying a garden full of beautiful flowers and summer vegetables. You made me mad when you ate the stargazer lilies that bloomed on my birthday.

Can you tell me what it is about our yard that you like so much? Is it location, location, location like the real estate agents always say? Do you like living inside the Beltway like we do? Is it family friendly enough for Daddy Buck, Mama Deer, and your little Doe? Is the access to mass transit, like the railroad tracks, facilitating your journeys to our neighborhood?

I feel for you as a species since I know that development in Montgomery County has claimed the land that you used to call home. As much as I try to be sympathetic, your now brazen visits in broad daylight with your friends have left me with very little compassion and I’d just like you to go away.

You may have noticed the more drastic measures that we’ve taken to keep out of our garden. My husband would like to enjoy a bounty of summer tomatoes and the children are really looking forward to their first cucumbers so we’ve put up a deer fence to protect our garden. We used to think another neighbor was crazy to have a deer fence around their whole yard but now we understand.

I hope that we can come to some sort of agreement and truce. Despite the deer fence, you will notice that I’ve sacrificed my flower garden and yes, all the remaining blooms are fair game. You may have the zinnias and what is left of the sunflowers and lilies. Think of this as a peace offering and please find another backyard buffet next year. Otherwise, we will join our neighbors in surrounding our yard with deer fence.

This is an original post to DC Metro Moms Blog. Leticia doesn’t usually wage war against any kind of furry creature. She prefers to spend her time helping parents make good choices about technology for their kids at Tech Savvy Mama or writing about child-friendly DC Metro activities with an educational twist as the Being Savvy Washington DC city editor.