I Wanted to be a Feminist Mom

I always planned to be a feminist mom. I’d give my kid (male or female) equal opportunity to play with dolls or trucks. There would be no such thing as girl toys or boy toys. Just toys.

When I found out I was having a girl, I demanded that no pink clothes should be bought for my daughter.  (If the baby had been a boy, I would have demanded no baby blue either). My girlfriends with kids laughed at me. “She’ll look good in pink, Kim.”

I didn’t care. I didn’t want my daughter to start her life already boxed into girl colors. As soon as she could start playing with toys, I bought her blocks, toys that made noise, toys that didn’t scream “boy” or “girl.” So how is it that my 3 year old loves pink and her favorite thing to do is play princess?

Of course I never deprived her of pink completely. Trying to find non-pink girl clothes is like trying to find a prom date who didn’t have zits. I guess that’s what I get for trying to hard.  Maybe it’s Mother Nature way of sticking her tongue out at me.

As a parent I have to pick my battles. It took me a while, but I’m comfortable that she loves pink. That she wants to wear pink every day, every minute. That she loves makeup. That she even loves dressing up as a princess. Everyday if she could. Heck I even made her a princess dress for Halloween. It might be a phase or it might be forever. Still, I have a lifetime to teach and show her that girls are not limited by their sex. 

If she wants to play doctor, great! If she pretends to be an evil stepmother, no problem. One day at preschool, I saw her “fixing” things at the tool bench, while wearing a princess dress and heels. I guess I am raising a feminist after all. Who cares if she wants pink tools?

An original DC Metro Moms post. When Thien-Kim isn’t busy playing the evil witch to her princess daughter, she blogs at Passion and Art. photo by Thien-Kim