Sext Ed and Sexting: Is Talking to Our Kids The Only Solution?

As a parent of three young children, none of whom can operate the camera function on my BlackBerry without help, or even know how to send photos or texts for that matter, I have (thankfully!) a bit of time before THE Sext talk.  Right now, "Sexting" is a hot, controversial legal topic, with potentially destructive ramifications. 

If you didn't already know, Sexting is what has been called a "growing fad among teenagers who send explicit pictures via text messages."  Even the Fairfax County Police Department, a county in the Washington, D.C. area, is holding Sext Education Community Forums, to warn parents and teens about the devastating consequences of sending explicit photos of themselves by mobile phone technology.      

The prosecution of teenagers who send explicit photos of themselves under child pornography laws is one potentially devastating consequence.  Take for example the Pennsylvaniacase where prosecutors charged teenage girls who took nude or semi-nude pictures of themselves and e-mailed them to friends (to boys, go figure!) with creating, distributing and possessing child pornography.  Convictions could land teenagers on sex offender registries.  The result:  destroyed futures, dashed dreams, teenage sex offenders.  Gee, thinking back on your teenage years, it's a good thing you didn't have a cell phone, right?

But are conversations with our children--Sext Ed--enough to protect them and salvage their futures?  Are conversations even the right course of action?  Vermont's Houseis considering a bill that would remove the threat of child pornography prosecution for sexting, so long as the messages are sent between ages 13 to 18, and provided there's no threat or coercion in the creation of the messages.  Is this a better approach to protecting our children and safeguarding their futures? 

And, what about those who say, leave the decision to prosecute to prosecutors?  As parents, are we really okay with a case-by-case, even potentially willy nilly (hey, in law school there's a saying that what a legal actor eats for breakfast might just impact decisions) and inconsistent applications of law?  Last I knew, States barely have the necessary resources to effectively deal with their existing case loads involving child pornography--and I'm talking the really, really bad stuff.  Do States have the resources to deal with cases involving messages sent between consensual teens?

When I think of Sext Ed, I can't help but think of those Just Say No to Drug and 'No Means No' campaigns.  Effective?  Arguably, yes, no and maybe.  Education takes time to work though--and I'm not sure there is enough time right now.  Time is certainly of the essence.  

And, what about the kids who have parents who don't, for whatever reasons, initiate these Sexting conversations?  What about the teens who are too scared or embarrassed to talk to their parents--after all, if many teens can't talk to their parents about sex, birth control or drugs, who are we kidding to think that talking about sending or receiving racy cell phone messages will be any easier?

As I type, my toddler sits next to me playing with my BlackBerry.  She has the whole world in her hands.  As a mom, I want to keep it that way, long after she figures out how to use the cell phone camera or text.  The way I see it, though I hope parenting will go a long way toward that end, I think it's going to require more than Sext Education.

An Original D.C. Metro Moms Blog Post.

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Julie is a lawyer, Vermonter living in the Washington, D.C. area, and author of the ABA Best Seller, Staying at Home, Staying in the Law:  A Guide to Remaining Active in the Legal Profession While Pursuing Your Dreams.  She blogs about life and flexible lawyering at Darling Hill.