The Name Blame Game

It's a boy!  I mean, it will be!  I mean, it is right now, too, but it's just not born yet.  I'm expecting my second child this summer, and according to the recent ultrasound images, it's a boy (or a three-legged child).  (Insert rim shot here.)

I have a toddler girl, and though the new addition to our family is likely to rock her world, it's also more than likely to rock my world even harder.  I'm thrilled for the coming of this badly-wanted baby, but honestly?  I'd be lying if I didn't say I'm more than slightly intimidated by the prospect of a boy.  Girls, I get.  Boys?  In my mind, boys = dirt + trucks + fire + farts.  But what's wigging me out the most right now is trying to come up with a name for this lad.

I don't have a name yet.  Correction: WE don't have a name yet.  I, in fact, have a name, one that my husband vows will never be the name of any child of his.  It's a good name, a GREAT name, even, but the hubs claims he can't stand it.  That's cool.  I'm flexible.  I'm willing to hear his suggestions and make a compromise.  The only problem is that he doesn't exactly have any suggestions, other than several names culled directly from the NFL, names like Plaxico and D'Brickashaw.  Which, um, are perfectly nice names for people whom I assume are perfectly nice folks, but I guess I'm looking for something slightly more, ah, traditional.  And easier to spell.

After having shunned them for my first pregnancy, I broke down and bought a baby name book.  And you know what?  Leafing through "60,001 + Best Baby Names" has gotten me no closer to finding a great name than scanning the names in the closing credits of television shows has. 

Abercius.  Beirchart.  Cengiz.  Are they names or diseases?

And even if I do come up with some names I'd possiby consider, I can't share them with people.  People... we're prejudiced, whether or not we like to admit it.  If I tell you that I'm considering the name Michael, you'll either tell me that you like that name because you knew someone really cool/nice/fun with that name, or you'll tell me you hate that name because you knew a Michael in third grade and he was a pants-wetter/booger-eater/kid who took the wings off flies.  And either way, it's not helpful to me.

Dagfinn.  Eurskie.  Faladrick. 

Does the name you bestow upon your child have a direct correlation to his personality, his profession, his life's course?  Jerry Seinfeld said, "If you name your child Jeeves, you've pretty much mapped out his path for life.  You don't meet a lot of hitmen named Jeeves."

Galegina.  Hrothgar.  Iorwerth. 

What if the name I really like is something my kid hates?  Can I handle being blamed for ruining my son's life because I named him Xerxes?

Jatauan.  Kee-Bun.  Laysy.

I still have approximately four months and 50,000 names to get through, and though I'm not dropping any hints about what I'm leaning toward, I can tell you with great certainty that it's not Marmaduke, Nabaioth, or Ofer.

And listen, if you have a suggestion, keep it to yourself.  I knew a kid with that name, and he used to eat paste.

An original DC Metro Moms Post.  Diana, who is not crazy about her name and dares you to call her "Lady Di" or "Dirty Diana" one more time,  regularly obsesses about topics great and small at Caffeinated.