When You Are The Only Mom Who Has A Job

I love my son's preschool, but it is not set up for the working mom.  Morning care doesn't start until 8:15 and after care ends at 5:30.  Summer camp only goes until 3, and even then it is only 6 weeks.  They closed for 2 weeks for winter break and spring break.  There are meetings during the day and they expect every child to have a parent on every field trip.  And no, it is not a co-op.

I work part-time.  And most of the time we have managed to make it work.  Except lately I have been working more than part time I have not been able to make all the book fairs and all the meetings and Michael has been in morning care and after care a little longer than most of the other kids.

And trust me, people notice.  And Michael notices.

I knew this going in, and we picked the school because we liked it and my son didn't get into our first choice.  Yes, we were rejected from our first choice preschool.  What can I say, we are preschool rejects. 

I hate when Michael asks me, "Mommy, Kevin's mommy came to school and you weren't there, Mommy why weren't you there?"  And I feel like I do a good job of being there.  I went on the dentist field trip and I was the mystery reader and I came to the going away party for one of the teachers in the middle of the day.  I go the fundraiser dinners and the book fairs.  I spoke at career day.  Career day, for 3 year olds.  I was the only mom. 

But I also have a job.  And they expect me to show up for it.  I can't go to the farm field trip because I have a trial so my husband is going to have to take off of work.  Such is life, what can I say?

We read Mommy's High Heel Shoes a lot (written by Kristie Finnan, who blogs at one of our sister sites, Philly Moms Blogs).  In fact, that was the book he picked for me to read when I read a book to the class.  We talk about how Mommies have jobs too.  How my job is important to me and how I work with kids who are hurt and I help them.  I think he gets it.  I hope he gets it.

One of the very first encounters I had with one of the other mothers at the school she was inviting me to an after school play date she was hosting for the whole class.  And after school is 12:20.  And when I explained to her that we wouldn't be there because I work she said, "you work?  I'm sorry."

I'm not sorry.  I like my job.  I'm good at my job.  I went to school for a long time to do my job.  And there is also the necessary thing of eating and keeping a roof over my child's head.  That is important too.

This is not meant to be one of those "Mommy Wars" working moms against stay at home moms one is better than the other posts.  Both are equally hard.  I don't believe in competitive parenting.  But I do believe we should do everything to support one another and try to make parenting easier.

And that includes the school system.  Granted, I picked this school, so I knew what I was getting myself into.  But the public school system in general is not set up for working parents.  Kids are out of school too often.  Do they really even need summer break anymore?  I'd like to hear from parents whose kids are in year round school, do you feel that is better for the working parent?

Michael loves his school, and ironically his favorite teacher of his 3 (don't even get me started on that one) is his after care teacher.  I know we picked the right place.  But I'd like just one other mom to commiserate with who is racing out the door to go to work also.

Original DC Metro Moms post. Jodi blogs at Jodifur about being a wife, mother, attorney, and everything in between.  You can also follow Jodi on twitter.

Artwork courtesy  © 2008 Pat Achilles and Mommy Workshop, LLC