Losing a Friend

When I picked up our 6 year old son from school on Friday afternoon, he told me that two of his classmates, twin brother and sister, were leaving. I asked him how he felt about that and he said he was sad as he hugged me in front of school. On the surface it may not seem like a big deal as the DC area is notoriously transient, but in our home it was a major breakthrough for our son who has an autism spectrum disorder and doesn’t form attachments easily.

Until this year he has never formed a bond with any of his classmates, and the majority of his interactions are still in parallel. He rarely mentioned anyone except his teachers, and even that was only peripherally. Occasionally he would make a book with the name of all of his classmates, but that was as far as it went, so we knew this particular boy was someone important when our son began to mention this boy in conversation earlier in the school year.

As a chaperone for one of the school field trips, I had a chance to see their interactions first-hand. They hung around each other without looking at each other and without conversation, just commenting on whatever was happening at the moment. When my son appeared stressed or upset about something, his friend would shrug and say, “It’s ok.” Neither boy made contact with the other children, they just seemed comfortable with their presence. Somehow, each was what the other needed, and that was enough.

Friday night our son wasn’t hungry for dinner, which is unusual for him, and the tears on his face at bedtime broke my heart. We hugged and I shed tears with him, both for his loss and for what he had found.

Original DC Metro Moms Blog post.

Andrea writes about her adventures in the kitchen at Andrea's Recipes and gives her opinion on products for home and garden at Andrea's Reviews.