Wildlife, You've Crossed The Line This Time
Living out in the country was the choice our family made when we moved back to the DC Metro Area a few years ago. We had taken our turn and were done with the close proximity that suburbia offered but yet we wanted a safe place for our children to grow up, good schools for them to attend and a sense of community sans the HOA. We got what we were searching for when we moved to Fauquier County, VA…and then some.
I couldn’t begin to share my collection of harrowing and hilarious tales depicting our family vs. nature in one sitting. There have been far too many wildlife encounters, weather related incidents and hometown dramas to recount readily. I can tell you, however, that recently, nature and its wildlife have seriously crossed the line.
The other night, my daughters and I grabbed dinner at the mall after school. As usual, we couldn’t finish our meals so we left carrying doggie bags which didn’t make it into the house when we got home. As we were getting into the car the next morning, I noticed the carryout box on the floor of the backseat and grumbled to myself, “Such a waste.” But then I took a closer look and froze in my tracks. Something had chewed through the container and gotten into our leftovers. Something that must be in my car!
I didn’t have time to investigate further because the girls were about to be late for school. I got inside the car and tried not to think about what could be crawling around, possibly over my feet, as I drove. Once they were safely to school, I reluctantly searched the vehicle but came up with nothing furry. I tried fooling myself into thinking that whatever got in my car must have scurried out just as mysteriously but that ended up being a short game.
When I got into the car later that day, there was a surprise waiting for me that resulted in some major shrieking followed up by faint-like symptoms and a slight loss of time.
There were telltale signs of a mouse ON MY gearshifter thingy!!
Truly, Mother Nature could not be a woman because she would never allow something like this to happen to one of her kind!
Of course and as always, I intended to fight back as soon as I gathered myself. It’s times like these when I channel Scarlett O’Hara as she dug deep to renew and protect her beloved Tara. It just so happens that I got my chance at redemption the very next night. Upon coming home late after a long and exhausting dance recital, we noticed a group of deer laying in our yard. We also noticed that they didn’t even think about getting up to run for their lives like they are supposed to when they see headlights or humans. No, they were completely content to watch us drive up the driveway and go into the house without so much as an ear flick.
That was it. I had hit my breaking point. Just before we entered the garage I threw the car into reverse, made a sharp turn and drove right out onto my lawn, down the hill and towards the lounging deer. And you know what? They still didn’t move. I wasn’t driving fast, mind you. I wasn’t trying to hurt the deer, or my lawn for that matter, but I did want to send them a warning. Finally, as the car was within just a few measly feet of the deer, they began to hustle for the woods.
By this point, my daughters, whom I had forgotten about entirely, were giggling so hard that I heard threats of lack of bladder control. I knew I needed to get back to the house but I noticed that there was one stubborn deer still using my garden as a salad bar so I took one more pass in his direction. As he charged away, I stuck my fist out the window and yelled, “Tell your friends!”
The deer have gone but there's still a mouse in my car. So as of now, I’d like to say that the score is tied. Me and Scarlett vs. Mother Nature. Now that's going to be a tough one to call.
Kimberly Petro writes about her life in The Ding Dang Woods on her personal blog, Petroville. Come visit. An original DC Metro Moms post.
