Defeated by Downtown DC

I think many families are disillusioned that the District is a great place to visit when you have small kids. I was reminded this weekend that this is a major fallacy for those with tots. I'm not sure why we think the Smithsonian for preschool kids, but it is not. And while I'm sure the random accelerated 4-year old would spend all day at the Air & Space Museum, I will assure you that if your kid doesn't read yet, the Smithsonian will be an exhausting exercise in patience for both you and your wee one.

This is not to say you shouldn't take your kids to the many wonderful things DC has to offer. It is only to say that you should lower (REALLY lower) your expectations for the journey. There are tons of other wonderful things to do in the area that don't involve the Metro or maneuvering the crowded museums.

So here's the story. We live in the DC area--approximately 20 miles from the city. It takes us anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour to get into DC. We don't go in often because of traffic and parking so when we do it's considered an "adventure." Do my kids like to go "into town?" Absolutely. But as soon we get home, I feel the need to drink heavily.

This weekend my best friend came to visit from Atlanta with her three kids. The plan was to take the kids--five kids under five--into town to see the Air & Space Museum, Natural History Museum, White House and possibly the National Zoo. Ambitious for a pair of Baby Bunchers, huh?

Friday morning we were ready for our adventure into DC on the Metro. I prepped everyone on how Metro works with kids and the approximate time it would take to walk to and from the stop. I timed everything perfectly with the parking at Metro. (Arrive RIGHT at 10 a.m. so you can one of the special spots that are reserved right up until 10 a.m.) And so our journey began.

10 a.m. Arrive at Vienna Metro. Park. All kids are mega excited about the train and museum.

10:30 a.m. Train finally leaves after we screw around with tickets, miss one train, get on another only to find out it's out of service.

11 a.m. Arrive at Smithsonian station. Not before all kids ate a cheese stick and put on all kind of a show for the people in the car. Super fun.

11:05 a.m. Realize that no kid will listen about getting too close to the track. Had to yell and fuss at every walking member of the group (4 of them) about getting too close so they didn't die on the tracks. Look for elevator. Can't find one. Metro sucks. I'm sure there is one, but even upon exiting the station we didn't find anything to get us to the surface. Carried strollers (2 of them) up stairs.

11:30 a.m. Arrive at Air & Space after much complaining about the walk. Everyone was hungry so we ate at McDonalds and paid $18 for family of three to eat and $30 for best friend's family of five to eat. Rip off!

12:15 p.m. Finally ready to get started at the museum. Everyone breezes through exhibits at the speed of light. Oh, yes, you can find out about that AT this museum! Everyone has to pee at various times which makes everything that much more difficult.

1 p.m. Kids start slowing down. Little kids clearly longing for naps. Try to forge ahead.

2 p.m. Everyone is melting down so decide to head home. Stop in at gift shop to buy gummi space ships (hoping sugar will revive everyone on ride home). $4. Begin walk back to Metro. All kids taking turns in strollers, on shoulders, in arms, etc. Tired kids ready to be home.

2:30 p.m. Head back down to the Metro. Still no elevator. Carry strollers down with one kid finally asleep in it. Wait in giant crowd of people. Still reinforce that kids can't get too close to tracks. (No walking on the bumpy parts.) Hope that kids don't get in when other line arrives and crowd divides in half.

2:40 p.m. Finally on train to head home with a crowded bunch. Kids are crammed into seats. People look annoyed at their noise. Mommies really need a cocktail. I won't even bore you with the ride-home saga. Basically, we feel sorry for all those who chose to ride in that car with our 5 tired kids.

3:10 p.m. Arrive at station. Sigh that the whole experience was over. Pay $4 for parking. Go home and realize kids would have been happy at the playground.

Analysis: Would I do this again? Yes (I'm a masochist, apparently, and I do believe my kids learn something from this charade.) But I do think parents should prepare and adjust expectations before heading downtown with kids under the age of 5 or 6. The Smithsonian, while full of great exhibits, is really meant for older kids. There are not lots of buttons to push at most places. Although each museum has an area that classifies itself as a "kid area."  If you're Ok with a an hour of fun at the museum (we are usually), then all will be fine. Are the museums designed for a 3, 4 or 5 year old? No. Just remember that. Accept it. Enjoy your McNuggets and wait a few years until your kids can read and enjoy on their own. Meanwhile, there is a pretty awesome carousel on The Mall that any preschooler will love.

This is an original DC Metro Moms post.

Linda writes about managing her closely spaced kids over at Baby Bunching.