Parenting Pregnant

I've always wanted my kids to be close in age so they could grow up together and hopefully develop similar interests and grow into lifelong friends.  The reality of this, however, is something along the lines of bone-numbing tiredness. At least for me, Mom, or She Who Gestates and Provides Tireless and Unending Nurturing.

I feel so guilty telling Noah, at the age of 18 months that "Mommy is tired and doesn't fell well," so get a book and read next to me watch Pinky Dinky Doo again, please.  And, "Urgh! Don't sit on my stomach".

Noggin and PBS have gotten me through the hellacious first trimester of raging morning sickness, extreme fatigue and wildly unpredictable food aversions.  Ditto to animal crackers and crystal light fruit punch. 

In the beginning I had the same anxious and doubt-ridden thoughts I had during my first pregnancy although this time I wasn't so traumatized by the thoughts of OMG, what have just done with my life?  Was this too soon?  Did I make a mistake?  Can I actually be a parent?  This time around the typical thoughts included my now-19-month old son whose life I felt I was ruining.  I finally have him sleeping through the night, why go and through an M-80 into his routine. I worried that a new baby would shake our bond and spread my love, attention and arms too thin. 

I think a lot of mothers feel this way, at least I hope they do and that I'm not alone.  A few weeks have passed since I was feeling so skeptical and so worried and now I'm thrilled to be giving my son a sibling.  My hope is that they will grow up and be close, experiencing life together, as pals, in that special way that only siblings can.  I know that while the next year and a half is going to be full of sleepless nights and hormone surges, weight changes, stress, poop, spit-up and tears that in the end, the gift I'm giving my children, of each other, and a family is well worth the difficult few months for myself. 

My kids will be about twenty-five and a half months apart in age and that is exactly as I always wanted.  Now, speaking of gestating, I need some sleep! 

This is an original post to DC Metro Moms.

Stacy Kravitz blogs about being a parent, being pregnant and many other mundane topics at The Fabulous Miss S.