Sorry, I Forgot Your Birthday

For the life of me, there are some birthdays I can't remember and others I just can't forget.  Of course, thankfully, with Facebook, electronic calendars, and my BlackBerry (oh, how I heart those 5 minute reminders, most of the time), these days I'm remembering more of the ones I can't remember, no matter how hard I try.  But when it comes to those birthdays I can't forget, the digital world lags behind--I'm always at least five minutes ahead of the five minute reminder with those dates.

 

There's no rhyme or reason to the dates that stick in my head or those that don't.  At least not that I can tell, and trust me, I've spent a lot of thought wondering why I can't remember certain birthdays and why I can't forget others.  It's not that the birthdays I can't remember naturally (that is, without technical life-support), and the individuals celebrating them, are any less important to me than the ones I automatically remember.  It's just what it is, so I tell myself to deal with the guilt.  Speaking of guilt:  Dad, even though I called to wish you Happy Birthday on your day, I'm so sorry I haven't sent you a card yet.

 

Without consulting technology, I know that the girl who sat behind me in social studies in 10th grade will celebrate her birthday on the 3rd, that my BFF from middle school will celebrate her birthday on the 15th, along with the girl with red hair I met in math class in 7th grade.  I know my friend from law school officially winds down her "early thirties" in nine days. 

 

I never forget my 6th grade friend's birthday, even though we haven't spoken in over 15 years, nor do I ever forget GroundHog day on February 2nd---that's kind of like a birthday, right?  I have a colleague's birthday down, thanks to a mnemonic she created--lawyers can be pretty savvy, but you probably already knew that.  I could easily rattle off a laundry list of birthdays that I never forget, including some random ones like Drew Barrymore's and Marilyn Monroe's.  As far as the less random dates like my children's birthdays, I can only hope I'll never forget those days--absolutely the brightest days of my life.  

 

And, I know until I stop breathing, I'll never forget the date of my little brother's birthday...because cancer stole him three days before he saw number eight. 

 

Regardless of how hard I try though, year after year, I'm at a loss when it comes to remembering the exact date of my best friend's birthday (even though I can rattle off her husband's birthday), or my grandfather's (even though I can remember my grandmother's) or mother-in-law's (even though I can remember my father-in-law's) birthday.  It's nothing personal, really.  Again, let me be clear, it doesn't mean these dates or people are any less special than those dates or people I remember--I'm sure E.T.'s friend is nice and all, but without knowing her, she just can't compare to the special people and their birthdays which I happen not to remember.

 

Whether reminded by technology or not, and regardless of whether I send birthday cards or presents, make phone calls, or only silently wish a happy birthday, that person's birthday always gives me pause--even if I remember it weeks late or don't get the gift in the mail on time.  It reminds me that they've somehow impacted my life and shaped who I've become along the way, for better or worse--even if I can't make sense of that impact.  That is just something I don't need a handheld gadget to remember.

 

An Original DC Metro Moms Post.

 

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When Julie is not thinking about her list of overdue birthday wishes, she can be found blogging about flexible lawyering at Darling Hill.  She is the author of Staying at Home, Staying in the Law: A Guide to Remaining Active in the Legal Profession While Pursuing Your Dreams.