Happy Anniversary To My Lungs
One year ago, on Election Day 2008, I quit smoking
cold turkey. Yes, I miss it and yes, I am a few pounds heavier but
every time I am tempted to light up, I remember how cancer killed one of my dearest friends.
I think back to the day I chose to break the nasty habit and I say to myself, “Yes, I
can.” One day at a time, one month at a time…and now it has been a
whole year.
The battle has been much, much, much harder than anticipated. I did not expect to be so cranky or so hungry or so depressed. Some days, it seemed almost easier (and a pretty good idea) to just let it all go to hell.
During the journey of quitting, I often reflected upon why I felt as though I needed to smoke and why something that was so bad for me was so hard to give up. Ironically, the entire time that I was a smoker, I neglected to mention that fun fact to many of my friends and family.
Why?
Because I knew that it was wrong. Because I was ashamed of being a mother who would sneak outside and hide from her girls just to smoke a rotten cigarette. Because I knew I had become a bad role model.
Now I am a non-smoker - a non-smoker who still craves cigarettes by the fist-load. This craving is only slightly surpassed (Thank God) by my desire to do the right thing for my kids and for my body.
I am posting my craving confession and asking you not to judge or advise, but to accept my yearning as simply human. All of us imperfect people have a vice…or two or six. You do too, don’t you? Please tell me you do.
One day at a time...Yes, I can.
Kimberly lives with her family in Virginia where she writes about her daily life on her personal blog Petroville, talks photography at Joslyn Place and mixes it up with her friends around the Beltway on the Washington Times Communities. You can also find her on Twitter @Kimberle...mostly just yakking it up.
An original DC Metro Moms post.
