What's In A Name? Everything.
I married into one of those names that people misspell frequently. In fact, I still pause at times to make sure I am spelling it correctly, even after seven years of marriage. The last two letters (le) are easy to reverse (el). But that is still no excuse for people and organizations who come in regular contact with me not to take the time to get it right.
Names are important. They are a vital part of our identity and therefore, they are worth taking the time to get right. I happen to have a lot of names, a first, two middle names, a maiden name and my married name -- the Social Security office just loved me when I insisted that they fit them all on my card. My mother gave me all those names (well, not my married one), I wasn't going to drop any of them!
My son has a formal-sounding first name and I left it up to him whether to keep the long form or to shorten it to the commonly used nickname. (Think Michael vs. Mike, although that's not it.) He has chosen to keep the long form and it's like nails to the chalkboard for him when someone calls him by the short form. And yet adults keep doing it, even when he has very politely (frankly, I admire his restraint) reminded them repeatedly that that is not his name. It makes me want to go to the adults and start calling them by the wrong name and see how they like it, perhaps calling John, "J," and see if he finds it appealing, or a Mary "Mar" and see how she likes it. There have been times my son has come to me with tears in his eyes, wanting to know why grown-ups call him by the wrong name -- to him the long form and short form of his name are two very distinct and separate names because he knows a boy who has the short form of his name and he and the boy are two distinct and separate boys. I have no answer for him -- I don't understand why adults do it either.
I am by no means perfect -- I am especially bad when it comes to Stacie/Stacey/Stacy and Tracy/Tracey/Traci -- I frequently forget which of my friends spell it which way. But I try to stop and look up the name of the person I am referring to in old emails or a directory, if possible. And if I am putting out an official list, I absolutely double check the spelling. When meeting someone for the first time, I always ask, "do you prefer to be called Jennifer or Jen or Jenny?" or "Do you spell that with an i or a y?" and similar types of questions. Because these things are important.
When I was a little girl, it was so critical to me that people understood my nickname were capital Js and had periods that I used to say "J-cross-dot, J-cross-dot." (The "cross" meaning the cross bar on top.) Who knew how hard it would be for people to write J.J. Two capital Js with periods, no space. I get J. J., JJ, J J, Jay-Jay, Jj, Jay Jay -- it's simply amazing to me. What I love are when I submit something in writing and people CORRECT how I spell my name! As if I don't know how to write my own name!
Names are just one little detail and yet are the very first detail most of us give of ourselves to the outside world. When you mangle that one detail, when you treat it carelessly, it says a lot about you. It says you are not to be trusted. It says you don't care. When I get a class list with my son's name misspelled, it diminishes the reputation of the teacher in my eyes instantly. When an organization cannot get my name correct, I do not want to entrust them with my money or time. When a person refuses to take the time to learn how to spell my name correctly, I don't feel compelled to invest a lot of time in that relationship.
What's in a name? Everything. How careful or careless are you with other people's precious names?
This is an original DC Metro Moms post. J.J. Newby is hoping you won't forget the name of her personal blog, Caffeine And A Prayer. Photo credit: © istockphoto.com/Jill Fromer
