SAD
It reaches a point where I withdraw into myself and find little to no happiness in things that normally I enjoy. I sleep a lot. I am sluggish and slow and moody and not myself. All my normal activities become chores, and The Husband knows to allow me to have as much time with my bed as possible.
Seasonal Affective Disorder. Call it what you will--the winter blues, winter depression, whatever. I have it, I suffer from it, it affects me. For years, I refused to acknowledge its presence in my life, thinking it was all in my head and that it would go away if I pretended the symptoms weren't there. However, there is no ignoring the symptoms that have persisted despite all my best efforts to stave them off.
I am dismayed by how much my life changes with the season shifts and the light in my life is reduced. I'm also disappointed by how my concerns have been brushed aside by several primary care physicians over the years. One told me that my problems would be solved if I simply exercised more and lost that extra weight, which would give me more energy to tackle life.
Last year, I had to switch to a new primary care doctor. I appreciated his time in listening to my concerns, and then his thoroughness in covering all bases. He discovered my body is vitamin D deficient, and that my thyroid is underactive. I started taking mega doses of vitamin D, and began daily medication to regulate my thyroid. I started feeling better and had tons of energy...but that also coincided with winter solstice and the days becoming longer! More light in my life...
So this autumn, I'd hoped the SAD wouldn't be an issue with the extra vitamin D and the treatment of my hypothyroid. Alas, I've been let down. I'm struggling once again to keep my head above water. I keep telling myself that this, too, shall pass. The sun will shine again... or at least a little bit more every day starting December 21, 2009.
It just sucks in the meantime.
Adapted for DC Metro Moms from Michelle's blog Wife and Mommy.
