Dieting While Married to a Skinny Husband
When my husband and I go out in public these days, I sometimes imagine people are reciting that nursery rhyme behind our backs, "Jack Sprat could eat no fat, his wife could eat no lean..." Although I am the overweight one and he's the scrawny one, he's the one who has a steady diet of vending machine snacks from the office and other artery-hardening things I don't even want to think about and I'm the one gnawing on carrots like a bunny rabbit. Yet he never gains and ounce and I seem to gain weight merely by breathing. (Seriously, does AIR have calories?)
Although I always try to keep healthy food in our house for the entire family, I have renewed my efforts to lose weight and have tried to engage my husband in the process by explaining some of the things to look out for when we grocery shop. Because we have two small children, grocery shopping often falls to whomever is less tired at night or doesn't have children with them at the moment we realize we have run out of milk or races out the front door faster so they can have a few moments of peace and quiet. This means that what is in our pantry may vary greatly depending on who did the shopping.
We had a conversation about how I wanted to try to follow Dr. Oz's Rule of 5s and how we're going to focus on non-processed foods because those tend to be the ones that are worse for you. JavaDad, being a terrific husband, went to the grocery store a few days later and planned several nights of dinner because he knew I had several tough nights of meetings ahead of me. Yep, he told me, as he pulled out the groceries, he had it all planned out... Hamburger Helper, a taco pie kit, a Tuna Helper kit.
Uh, Houston, we have a problem.
On a night when we found ourselves with hungry children and too tired too cook, we decided we wanted to pick something up to eat. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" he said. "Possibly, what were you thinking?" "KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN!"
I am pretty sure I gained five pounds just listening to him. But I lost four pounds restraining myself from throttling him.
"No, honey, I don't think getting KFC is really conducive to me trying to lose weight right now."
He's not one of those husbands who is trying to sabotage my efforts, he just honestly doesn't think anything about food. He has virtually no sense of smell, and therefore very little sense of taste. Food is nothing more than fuel to him. He doesn't crave it, doesn't think about it, and because it is such a non-issue for him, doesn't categorize it as "good" or "bad" for him, even though he really does need to think about what it does to his insides despite its apparent lack of impact to his outward appearance. To him, Bananas Foster, steak, and popcorn all have the same emotional value and for all he could care, the same nutritional value.
If I didn't love him, I would hate him.
In our Engaged Encounter classes, they prepared us that we may have different views about sex, money, and childrearing. But not about food and nutrition! There was no vow in the wedding ceremony that said, "Do you promise to love this man, even if he can eat candy bars every single day and you have to eat celery sticks?"
What he doesn't quite get is that this healthy eating stuff isn't all about me. I thank God that our children are healthy eaters, their love of fruits and vegetables is legendary amongst our friends, we actually have to hide the veggies that are delivered from the farm because sometimes they try to eat them before I've had time to properly wash them. No, all this talk of cutting out high fructose corn syrup and trans fats and so on isn't just about my vanity, but out of concern for my husband's health and wanting to have him hang around a little longer. Because whether you call him JavaDad or Jack Sprat, I want him around for the long haul.
After all, what good will it do if I get back my girlish figure if he's not around to admire it?
Original post to DC Metro Moms. You can find J.J. Newby (aka JavaMom) blogging at Caffeine And A Prayer.
