How I Saved Her High School Social Life
It started with a Spanish assignment. It ended with me saving her social life.
My mother and I were cooking the Sunday away, oblivious to calories, fat and most of what was going on in any room but the kitchen. My daughters were finishing up some weekend homework and the dogs were sitting patiently begging while the house was busy smelling divine. Every so often, mostly due to that permeating divinity, the girls would pop down to check out and taste the goodies.
When my fourteen year old entered for the third time, she had an armful of old photo albums.
"Is it okay if I use some of these baby pictures for my Spanish project?"
"Sure," I said," just please be careful with them. I want them back."
Her assignment was to create a poster illustrating what she liked to do as a young girl with captions in Español. My daughter, being the crafty one in the household, was only too happy to utilize her scrap-booking talents to benefit her Spanish grade. My mother, being like a moth to a flame, was only too happy to put down the greasy pan she was scrubbing and skip down granddaughter memory lane. Within seconds, I was the only one cooking.
Fast forward a few hours, dinner was served, was delicious and behind us. My mother was gathering her things to go home when she remembered something she wanted to see.
"Sweetie, can you bring your poster down here? I want to get a look at the finished product before I head out."
My daughter proudly displayed and translated her poster to the family.
"This one shows that I loved to play on the swing set. This one is of me reading to my dolls. This one says that I had a stuffed animal collection. And..."
All of the pictures were adorable, of course, but I couldn't help going back to the one of her holding an Elmo doll.
"Can I see the poster, honey?"
It was just as I suspected. The nagging thought that crept up on me was confirmed as soon as I held the poster in my hands and inspected it closely.
"Honey...um, you don't want to use that picture."
"Why? It's cute."
"It's cute but you don't have any pants on."
"I know but I had a long sweatshirt on and underwear, I'm sure..."
"Honey, look."
You had to look really closely but it was there plain as day - the very edges of my daughter's naked nether regions.
My daughter gasped and looked back at me with wide eyes.
"What? You were potty training."
Then, the weight of what could have happened dawned on us both. This poster, technically containing a photograph of my daughter's vagina, almost made it on to the walls of the high school where she is currently a freshman.
"Wow...you totally owe me."
She was still in stunned silence so I continued, "Because I just saved your entire social life."
Kimberly lives with her family in Virginia where she writes about her daily life on her personal blog Petroville, talks photography at Joslyn Place and mixes it up with her friends around the Beltway on the Washington Times Communities. You can also find her on Twitter @Kimberle procrastinating housework.
An original DC Metro Moms post.
