On the outside looking in...already.

I am on the outside of a love triangle and it's breaking my heart. Amusing me, and breaking my heart. It appears as if I have already been replaced in my little one's eye as the end all be all female. Yes, I've been usurped by a tiny 16 month old named Sadie. She has fluffy hair that she wears in a pony tail on top of her head and the sweetest little voice I've ever heard (other than Max's of course).

In preparation for our Hawaii trip, and to edge out the mind numbing nothing to do-ness of this snowy season I have been hitting the gym on the daily. Monday through Friday I escape to the elliptical, plug my earphones into the attached TV and delve into a show that doesn't involve anyone animated or threatening to swipe anything.

I was hesitant to use the gym daycare at first, and so I had been waiting till after the baby went to bed to rush out and get in my workout before the it closed. It was my husband who one fateful Monday he had off of work insisted we give it a try. I am so glad he did. The woman who runs the daycare is so fabulous I wish I could poach her for my very own. I mean, if I had such a lifestyle that I needed to poach a full time personal child care taker! Since I have been staying at home and since we know, well, basically no one in this area it's really been me and the kiddo against the world. I have loved this time together, but as he creeps steadily towards two I see more and more that he needs interaction with other children and to learn that I can go away but will always come back. The first few times we took a trip to the gym there were many tears (one or two of them may have even been mine but I'm not admitting to anything). After a week or so I would say to him "would you like to go to the gym and see Anna Maria?" and he would say 'ball!' which is code for 'why yes, I'd love to go to the big room that has a giant football looking thing on the door.'

Just last week I put him down and as I removed his jacket he was already pulling away from me...towards that little siren, Sadie. They moved towards one another in that fun little toddle that, ya know, toddlers have. She reached out and squeeked "eye maaah" Clearly, 'Hi Max.' He didn't say anything. He just wrapped his little arms around her and rested his head on her shoulder. oh.my. I was unprepared for that! The daycare workers and I all awwwwwed, unable to stop ourselves from the cute attack. It was without a doubt one of the sweetest and purest things I've ever seen. I wish Sadie's mother had been there to see it, it was precious. But there's a complication. Katrina. Two and a half, she has her sights on my son and nothing, no not even sweet Sadie will stand in her way. If Sadie isn't there Max is thrilled to play with Katrina, but if Sadie and Katrina are there...it's tug of war with Max. Just yesterday I witnessed Katrina being taken to the car by her freshly Yoga'd mommy crying "Max!!" and reaching for the playroom door. I peeked in and Max was happily handing a baby doll to Sadie. Hmmmmmm.... I marvel at the intricacies of the relations between these three under three. Max is gentle with both of them (oh how I pray he always will be!) and the girls negotiate who gets Max when. Katrina is clearly dominant but Sadie looks out for herself too. Personally, I'm pulling for Sadie. My husband only had one comment about the whole thing "Two girls? That's my boy!"

When Stephanie Stearns Dulli isn't trying to win back her son from toddler vixens, she blogs about babies, shopping, and other funny nonsense at Dial M for Minky