The Lost Art of RSVP

Perhaps it's the fact that it's in French (Répondez s'il vous plaît) or maybe it's because people are lazybusy, but I am saddened by the lost art of RSVPing.

Mom A plans great birthday party for her son. She rents facility, orders cake, plans food, sends out invitations with email address and phone number. Two days before the party she hasn't heard from half her guests--most who own blackberries or iPhones. She stresses about party favors and if she has enough food. Mom B decides since Mom A couldn't get responses, she'd send out an Evite to her son's friends. She rents facility, orders cake, plans food and gets party favors. Mom B loves Evite because she can see who has viewed and not viewed. Two days before the party, she's still waiting for people to either open the evite or respond.

I am the first to admit that I've let a few of these invites pass me by. Though with birthday parties, especially, I try to get to the birthday child's mom sooner rather than later because, if nothing else, their need for head count.

In an era when responding doesn't even mean having to pick up the phone, why is it we can't carve out the time to respond? Perhaps people are waiting for a better option to come along. Could it be that no one wants to commit because once you say yes or no, you can't change your mind. I say it's a bit of both. But remember that parties are a perfect time for people to gather and be together. Something we don't do much of anymore except on email, Facebook or blogs. 

RSVPing is no longer a just a basic skill. It is a learned art form, and I appreciate those who practice it.

Here is a quick lesson (one which I need to practice myself sometimes):

1. Receive invitation. Don't put it in the mail pile or it will get lost. Don't give it to your child or it will get lost. Put it on the frig or somewhere else where you will see it.

2. Ponder first if you want to attend. Don't ponder more than 24 hours. C'mon you know if you want to go or not. Don't drag it out.

3. Respond before the deadline or at least 4 days in advance. If you don't want to go (that's OK), find a very believable excuse and give it now. "Sorry we have plans for that day" will totally suffice. If you do want to attend, but are not sure you can, let the person know you're considering it so they can account for you. But let them know with enough time so they don't have to sprint to the store for you the day of the party. If you want to go, say yes and say it sooner rather than later. They have probably worked hard on this, invested time and money and invited you for a reason. Party planners (like myself) love others to be excited about a gathering.

4. Follow up. Even if you don't go, ask about it the next time you see them and thank them for the invitation.

I'm getting ready to plan my oldest child's birthday party and because every year, I have to make last-minute phone calls to find out about party goers, I'm opting on the Evite hoping this will save me a few phone calls.

If you have an invitation sitting around in your house, "please respond."

This is an original DC Metro Moms post.  

Linda officially apologizes for any invitations she has not responded to in a timely manner. She's still working on developing her art. She writes at Baby Bunching.