Way to make me feel old, Doc
I went for my annual OB/Gyn visit the other day.
The nurse went through the usual health questions: any problems? any medications? what are you using for birth control?
I laughed and said "Hmmm. Being 45 and a half years old?"
That is a joke that has worked in the past. I took the pill for many, many years. Then I stopped. My husband was supposed to have a vasectomy, but just never got around to it. A year went by, then another.
I gave a sarcastic answer to the birth control question three years ago, and the doctor gave me a list of urologists my husband should see for the, um, procedure.
Two years ago, and I got a short lecture. "Pregnancy's not probable, but not impossible," the doctor said, checking off some codes on my chart. "I've delivered babies to women older than you."
I gave a similar answer a year ago, and the doctor gave me some information about Essure, the new wave of tubal ligation where doctors block your tubes in a quick-and-easy in-office procedure.
This year, as I am eying 46, I got nothing. No response. No shrug of the shoulders. No tsk-tsk. No little lecture.
Hey! Really? I mean, I don't want a baby. It was hard to conceive when I was 30, so I logically know the odds are huge. Obviously, I never had much baby lust; after one difficult, even dangerous, pregnancy and one miscarriage and I took myself out of the babymaking game. My son is nearly 14. We've moved on to planning for high school, even college. I think I wrote here a few weeks ago about the troop of pregnant ladies on my block - they are all a good 10 - even 15 - years younger than me.
I think knowing that age - or a medical professional - sort of telling you it is over is sort of a psychic slap, though. I have friends in their mid-to-late 40s who run around saying things like "Wow. I was a day late and really thought I might be pregnant!" or "I'm off to refill my birth control. We don't want any little accidents at our house! Ha ha." I would just nod sympathetically, but secretly say "Who the heck is she kidding?"
It's hard to get to place where it's fine if you don't WANT anymore kids but not fine if time tells you you've crossed over into simply being too old. Doesn't matter how much yoga you do or broccoli you eat or how your great moisturizer makes you look 35. You aren't 35.
Which is why my doctor asked what I am doing to get enough calcium.
DC Metro Moms original blog post.
Karen G. is aging well in Northern Virginia. She blogs at Snarkshelf.com.