DC Metro Moms

2-Ring Balancing Act

With the birth of my second child in the middle of January, I feel like the circus has broken out of the big tent and is now taking over the town.  Recovering from an emergency c-section meant taking it easy at home the first couple of weeks (no stairs, no lifting, no over-doing-it).  With my partner home from work for two weeks, I was able to focus on the baby and taking care of myself.  He stepped up to cover meals, handle everything that goes along with our 9yo (4th grade homework is a bitch!), and run any errands that popped up (more diapers anyone?).

With the big guy back at work this week, my days consisted of being sacked out on the couch all day, impersonating a cow.  The new guy won't sleep unless he's being held, so much time is wasted on the couch while he snoozes.  Without an extra set of hands during the day, I'm not able to take care of myself like I should (basic functions like eating and going to the bathroom only seem to happen when the baby is awake and not attached to a boob).  Dinner isn't even considered until everyone is already home and starving.

Insomnia

Every night it's the same thing.  I turn off the light and try to sleep, only to end up tossing and turning for hours before finally drifting off.  Several hours later, my body decides to wake up and start the day, only to crash a few hours later.  This pattern of sleeping from 2am-5am is not working for me and I find myself nodding off at work during the day.

Sure, I could blame all of my sleeping problems on being 7 months pregnant, but honestly, the insomnia goes back decades.  My father has sleeping issues, and his father had sleeping issues.  Nothing really helps.  I've tried the warm milk, the herbal teas, over the counter sleep aids...  The herbal pill remedies seem to help slightly with no side effects in the morning.  I don't like the prescription medications because I feel like I've been run over with a dump truck the next day.  Not that any of these really matter at the moment anyway...  I won't take anything while I'm pregnant.

We're Lucky We're Insured, But...

My partner sprung a bombshell on me last week.  His health insurance, which covers himself and our son, would be jumping almost $200 a month for his part of the contribution; from around $450 to $630.  He works for a small company (less than 30 employees), and apparently their insurance provider felt their company had too many claims over the past year so rates were going to be raised.

Now we have a dilemma.  My company's insurance will cover domestic partnerships, so I could add both of them to my plan.  My coverage costs are significantly less than his.  However, my coverage also isn't as good.  I have high co-pays, higher prescription costs, fewer in-network doctors, and most importantly, an extremely high co-pay for emergency visits ($200 for ER and $500 for a hospital stay, plus 10% of costs).  His plan charged nothing when our son had an ER visit that turned in to a hospital admittance last year.

I know we are extremely lucky to not only be covered by insurance, but to have options when it comes to how we're being insured.  However, we're still having to make the same types of decisions as those without insurance.  Namely, how much of a gamble do we want to take with our health?  If we're saving $300 a month on premiums, but then have a hospital stay, we'll lose.  Then again, we've had 1 hospital stay in the past 8 years, so what is the likelihood of having another one in a short period of time?  What about surgery?  Mine charges 10% of costs for outpatient surgery.  What is the going rate for an outpatient surgery?  What about my partner's knee surgery he had earlier this year? 

When to Say Goodbye to a Beloved Pet

Our beloved dog, Ginger, went in for surgery recently to remove some mast cell tumors that had formed since the New Year.  She had this surgery a few years ago and did very well with the recovery (recurrence of the tumors is common).  However, at this point she is 16 1/2 and I have to wonder if it was really worth it, both financially and for her comfort, to undergo full anesthesia and surgery for something that isn't life-threatening.

For such an elderly lady, Ginger has been in relatively good health.  Sure, she is completely incontinent and has ruined all of the wood floors in our house (we had to remove all of the area rugs).  We suspect she has had a couple minor strokes, which resulted in short-term balance problems and temporary lameness on the left side.  She has also lost a lot of her hearing and has vision loss.  Using the standard calculation of 7 dog years per human year, she is over 115, so these types of things are to be expected.

Solo Parenting When Your Partner is Home

In mid-January, my partner had knee surgery to try and repair some missing cartilage in his left knee.  The procedure was arthroscopic, so he was home that afternoon, but had to stay off his leg for six weeks.  That means six weeks where it couldn't even touch the ground.  No balancing on the toes, no baby steps; zip, nada, zilch.

We live in a two-story house with the main bedrooms on the upper floor.  The laundry room is in the basement.  For the duration of his recovery, my partner moved downstairs into a twin bed kept in the spare bedroom.  This meant that he couldn't access the upper floor (where our son's bedroom is located) or the basement.  It also meant that I was stuck doing the laundry for the next six weeks; a chore we normally split.

The big guy does a fair amount of travel for work, so I'm accustomed to picking up the slack while he is gone.  I make sure that I can get dinner on the table every night for the boy and myself, and I try to pack his lunch every day using meal leftovers.  However, something usually has to give, and between getting our son to do his homework, getting him fed, bathed and into bed after a full day at the office wears me out.  When my partner is out of town, I usually don't clean the kitchen.  Oh sure, I'll load and run the dishwasher in the first day or two, but then I rarely get around to emptying it and the dirty dishes just stack up.  Yes, I know this is gross.  But who is going to complain; an 8yo boy?  I hardly think so!  So, the night before (or some times the morning of) the big guy's return, I spend a few hours madly cleaning my collective filth from the week and he comes home to a semi-respectable house.

Being Neighborly

The other morning, while on my way to vote in my county's special election, I came down a hill in my neighborhood and saw a large black dog standing in the middle of the road.  I slowed down while he made his way back to the other side of the street, and then pulled over.  I didn't see any people around on foot, so was worried about the dog being loose and possibly getting injured.

As I walked over to him, he came up to greet me and was incredibly friendly.  Checking his tags, I saw that he lived only a couple houses down.  Grabbing his collar, I started heading that direction and he took off at a run.  Obviously he knew where he lived!

There was no car in the driveway and nobody answered the door when I rang the bell.  The back yard was fenced, so I checked both sides of the house but didn't see a gate leading into the yard.  As I started to head back the other direction to check out the screened porch, a car pulled into the drive.

Learning to Ski

For Thanksgiving, our family went to visit relatives in the Catskills area of New York.  Their area had received about 5" of snow prior to our arriving Tuesday night, so my 8yo son was in winter heaven for the next few days happily building snow forts and romping in the snow with the 2yo airedale puppy.  While out and about to hit up a few markets for supplies, we observed that several of the ski resorts in the area were open for business.

I had only been skiing a handful of times as a teenager, and each time managed to find myself tumbling down the mountain each time.  Obviously skiing was not my forte (not to mention I HATE the cold), but I didn't think I should project my opinions of the sport onto my 8yo.  So, during a lazy card game on Thanksgiving afternoon, we asked if he'd be interested in trying.

The Vacation that Kept on Giving

This past August, my little family of 3 took our first vacation that didn't involve visiting family or around my partner's travel schedule for work.  Our 8-year-old son Will had just finished his first year in his school's Spanish immersion program, so we wanted to choose a destination that would allow him to practice his new language skills. After taking some hard looks at our budget, we decided to rent a condo in Puerto Rico for a week and a half.  The condo location was perfect; in a gated community with a playground, pool, and private beach access.  My youngest sister was able to come with us and everyone had a fabulous time.  Even with a few splurges, we managed to stay under budget for the entire trip.  Immediately the talks of a return trip began.  However, unbeknownst to us at the time, not everything in Puerto Rico stayed in Puerto Rico.

Schools in Virginia start the day after Labor Day.  At the end of the second week of school, Will commented that his head was itchy. Considering he'd just come in from playing outside, I assumed it was itchy since it was sweaty.  However, I checked his head anyway on the offhand chance he may have picked up lice at the beginning of the school year. I didn't see anything and he didn't complain of any problems the next day, so I thought everything was fine.