DC Metro Moms

Sexy Is An Attitude, But Sexy Panties Help-Mominatrix Lead-In

I'm addicted to panties. Not as in I can't go commando, but I love buying underwear. I'm not picky about the material either: cotton, satin, silk or lace. I get excited when Victoria's Secret has their semi-annual sale. I love the bargain undies bin at Frederick's of Hollywood. Heck, I've even sewn my own.

I even like the word panties. Not underwear, not undergarments, but panties. Sure, I'm guilty of throwing on the mom uniform of t-shirt and jeans, but I like having a cute pair of panties under them. Why? They make me feel womanly, sexy even. When you're a mom of two small children, it's hard to get your mojo on at the end of a long day of spit-up, dirty diapers, and a whining preschooler. After reading Kristen Chase's The Mominatrix's Guide to Sex: A No-Surrender Advice Book for Naughty Mom, I second her belief. Dressing the part helps bring the sexy back. (Cue some Justin Timberlake).

Multiple Snogasms

I'm sure you've heard by now, that after our blizzard this weekend with 28"+ of snow, another giant bucket of the heavy white stuff will be dumped onto the DC Metro area. The National Weather Service is calling for anywhere between 10-20" of snow starting noon on Tuesday.

Sure, we've been poking fun of the snow on Twitter and Facebook. The blizzard has accumulated quite a collection of hashtags: #snowpocalypse, #snotoriousBIG, #snOMG, #snowmaggedon and my personal favorite, #snogasm.

But aren't "gasms" supposed to be, um, pleasurable?

Dad, the Goldfish Isn't Moving!

My well meaning father bought my 4 year old, Sophia, a lovely goldfish the week of Thanksgiving. The theory is that she'll be so preoccupied with her new pet that she wouldn't notice that her mom was super busy with her new baby brother. Thus Sophia Goose swam in a large vase on our coffee table. I thought my dad was also going to buy a little tank too. A vase was all we got.

Well, apparently a goldfish is not a very exciting pet. Ok, I already knew that. I had to remind Sophia Swan (since she's a swan, the goldfish is a goose, get it? Me neither.) to feed her fish every day. She wanted to feed it breakfast, lunch, dinner AND dessert. I'm still teaching her moderation.

Earlier this week my sister noticed that Sophia Goose was, well, just floating. Thankfully Sophia hadn't noticed it yet. Then one morning, on our way out the door, she said it. "Dad, my fish isn't moving."

To Induce or Not to Induce?

As I write this, my due date looms two days away. It's my second pregnancy, so I know what to expect, more or less. It's just that I totally bought into the "Your second one usually comes early." Heck I even got a gut feeling two weeks ago that he would arrive before his due date.

So why did I schedule an induction?

And the Lazy Mom Award Goes To. . .

My daughter's 4th birthday party is Tuesday. As in next week. I just gave out the last invitation today. The other two I gave out the day before that. One didn't even get handed out, I just called her friend's mom. To my credit I did send out a save the date email two week ago.

I know most of her friends can make it. I just realized last night that I should probably order the cake and plan the menu.With baby #2 due in less than 3 weeks, I've taken the easy road.

I Almost Got The H1N1 Vaccine

When I found out that Montgomery County Department of Health was holding an H1N1 flu clinic this past Wednesday, I thought perfect! I'm 9 months pregnant and my almost 4 year old didn't have preschool that day. We'd get up our normal time and go wait in line. It shouldn't take too long, right? After all we both on the CDC's priority list.

My OB's office had no idea if (and when) they would receive any H1N1 vaccines, so they recommended that I try to get one on my own. After all, pregnant women have had a higher hospitalization rate for H1N1 than any other segment of the population. This is my only option for receiving the vaccine.

As most moms know, when you have small children, you never get anywhere on time. Even when I add extra time in. When we arrived at the Health Center, it was a 9:15 AM, only 15 minutes after the clinic was scheduled to start giving the H1N1 flu shots. Lo, and behold, the line wrapped around the building.

Not only that, it was chilly and this mom was woefully unprepared for the long wait. No books, no entertainment for the preschooler. Just half a Nutella sandwich and a juice box. Not to mention it was about 50 degrees. After waiting in line for 45 minutes we left.

First Comes Princesses, Next Comes Weddings

My three-year-old has been obsessed with princesses since she was one and a half. Apparently the natural progression is weddings. Thanks, Disney. She really wants to get married, even though she really has no idea what it means. 

Previously she asked her dad if she could marry him. “I’m already married to your mom,” was his clever reply.

While using the bathroom at a fast food restaurant, she brought up weddings again. Don’t you know all great parenting moments happen while your child uses the potty at McDonald’s?

Why I Can't Have Friends

“Hey, let’s go have lunch and get a mani-pedi on Friday. Our husbands have the day off so they can hang out together with the kids.”

“Um, that sounds like fun. But I need to talk to N (her husband) about it.”

“Oh, I talked to him the other day when I picked up S from her playdate with L. He said it would totally work, and he wants to hang out with L (my husband).”

“Um, let me talk to him again, and I’ll get back to you. I just want to make sure it’s alright. Maybe I can put the kids down for a nap before I go.”

Do you ever have conversations like this? I would have thrown my cell phone across the room if it wasn’t already gimpy.

Why is it that some women can’t make any decisions without their husbands?

It’s not like I asked her to run away to Vegas for the weekend.

I'm Not Really Super Mom

The mothers in my playgroup (some of whom I've only known for a month), think that I'm Super Mom.  Why?

So I brought a yummy (10 minute) sesame noodles and fried (frozen) dumplings last week. So I brought homemade chocolate chip cookies this week--I had a prego craving for them Sunday night.

So I showed up to the playgroup wearing a dress I upcycled from 2 hold t-shirts. (Forgot to take pics, but there's a tutorial from this month's Ready Made magazine).

So I brought some bottle caps that I collaged 3 years ago so I could punch holes and at bails to them. I figured it was about time I did something with them. Plus I'm not really a helicopter parent so I'd rather bring something for me to do while Sophia runs around someone else's backyard.

So I work from home, too. All while staying home with my 3 year old, and I’m five months pregnant. Why do I do all of this?

I'm trying to win a Super Mom award.

I Want My Kid to Fall at the Playground

My daughter loves to run, jump, and climb—just like most 3 year olds. At the park, I’m not really a hands on parent. I’d rather sit on a bench, keep an eye on her, and soak up some warm sun. I figure, as long as she’s in my line of sight, and she’s not screaming her head off, she’s good.

No, I don’t want to climb the jungle gym or go down the slide with her. I just want to chill, ok? I know not all parents are like me at the playground. They climb 8 feet up the monkey bars with their kids, go down the tornado slide with them, or just hover, waiting to catch their kid in case of a fall. That’s cool with me.

What I don’t like is when they hover around my kid too. They give her a lift when she’s trying to climb the monkey bars or help her stand up in a swing. Then they’ll look at me, like I’m not doing my parenting duties.

Guess what? I want my daughter to fall off the playground equipment.